Can we have it all?

The recent Mail Online headline - “We'll fail a generation of girls if we teach them they have to have it all” - angered me to the point of distraction. The author, Jill Berry, argues that from the moment girls attend nursery school, they are taught that their ambitions should have no limits, and believes that these ideas are doing nothing more than setting up a generation for failure. By teaching girls that they can have it all, just adds an unrealistic pressure. She believes the stark truth - which modern women cannot succeed in both motherhood and the workplace, without having to make huge sacrifices. I expect rhetoric of this nature from men, but when spouted from the headmistress of a leading girl’s school and the president of the girl’s school association, one cannot help but feel catapulted back into the dark ages.

I am not for one moment ignoring the difficulties of trying to succeed in a career, whilst attempting to juggle the commitments of our “naturally ascribed roles.” However I do take umbrage with the blanket viewpoint Berry spouts. I do have an issue with her sitting in her ivory tower, being far removed from the inequalities that many girls of colour face and making these statements. I argue that if we fail to teach our girls that there is nothing that they cannot achieve, we will not see the level of successes that are often a direct result of this type of home instilled ideology. If we cannot tell girls of colour that the sky is the limit, and to reach for the stars, then the inequalities that exist within the education system will only seek to breed a lack of confidence and ambition. One can argue that girls of colour face the double whammy of having to work twice as hard; both to overcome gender and racial biases. Why dampen and limit their choices in life? Why create a risk adverse generation by fostering a fear of failure?

The way in which men and women are thought to understand and approach risk vary. There is no difference in what Berry is saying here, or than a teacher encouraging competiveness and risk taking amongst the boys, whilst instilling caution and courtesy amongst the girls. What Berry is advocating is both ludicrous and unfair to a generation of women. Essentially Berry is saying that instead of women aiming to be politicians, lawyers, doctors, wives and mothers, they will end up being political assistants, legal secretaries, medical receptionists, wives and mothers.

If Michelle Obama was told that she had to choose between being a mother and a lawyer, I do not believe that she would be standing by the side of the President today. I’m sure if Michelle Obama was scared to take a risk or two, she would not have the titles of First Lady, lawyer, wife and mother. Although she is the archetypical woman of colour success story, she should also be promoted as a role model for all young girls, and we should continue to tell the next generation that they can also have it all.